Tips for surviving Christmas when pregnant after infertility or loss.

It’s hard NOT to get wrapped up in the Christmas Season, with family functions and events making their way into your diary.  But when you’re pregnant, it can feel a little overwhelming. 

If you’re at the beginning stage of your pregnancy, the copious amounts of food can turn your sensitive stomach inside out.  And if you haven’t told anyone you’re pregnant, you may be worried about how to politely decline that cup of eggnog. 

If you’re at the stage in your pregnancy when you’re starting to feel exhausted and puffed just getting off the sofa, you may be worried about how you’re going to keep up physically.

And because we have a hard time saying NO to invitations, we can find ourselves doing things we don’t want to do, with people we don’t want to hang around.  Your Christmas season is being hijacked, and instead of looking forward to it, you’re dreading it. 

So how do you create a Christmas that you’re going to enjoy? 

Firstly………SAY NO.  Setting some healthy boundaries is SO important.  You don’t have to prove anything to anyone (especially yourself). If you don’t want to go to your work Christmas party, say NO.  If you don’t want to spend Christmas with your friends or family this year, say NO. 

If this makes you feel a little guilty, that’s completely normal. As women, we have been groomed to put other people’s feelings above our own.  We have spent years being complimented for being completely selfless.  And now that we’re grown women, we still can’t shake that feeling of guilt when we do something “selfish” like put our own needs first.

But saying NO, which is essentially the first part of setting a boundary, is not about saying that my feelings are more important than yours. It’s about saying that my feelings matter too. And that is completely acceptable.

Now, I understand that saying NO isn’t always an option, and it may even cause some conflict between you and your partner depending on who’s family you’re going to spend the holidays with.  But if you do have to say YES, here are some tips for you - 

Travel

If you plan on traveling for the holidays, whether that’s by plane, train, or automobile, you might need to make some adjustments to accommodate your pregnancy.

Keep nausea in check. Morning sickness + motion sickness – if you’re experiencing one or both, it can make travel really unpleasant. To combat this, I suggest the following.

• If traveling by ground, sit as close to the front as you can, for less sway in motion. If you’re flying, try to get a seat close to the wing.

• Refrain from eating a large meal before traveling, eat something light so you don’t have an overly full or empty stomach.

• Carry snacks, such as crackers or hard candies, to help with nausea during the trip.

• If you’re taking nausea medication or using natural remedies for nausea, make sure you have enough for the entirety of your trip, and keep them in an easy to reach spot like your carry on or handbag/purse.

• Take small sips of water throughout the trip.

• Avoid things that trigger motion sickness such as reading, and try listening to music instead.

• Get fresh air as much as possible. If you’re in a car, cracking the window can help alleviate nausea.

Prevent blood clots. Sitting for long periods of time, like when you’re traveling, can increase blood clotting risks, and it’s especially important to take precautions for this while you’re pregnant.

• Wear compression socks. Talk with your doctor before buying these to see if they’re a safe option for you and what size would be appropriate if so.

• Drink plenty of fluids during your trip, and avoid caffeine.

• Get up and get moving. Take regular breaks from sitting. If you’re traveling by car, you’ll probably be making gas and restroom breaks often, so take that as an opportunity to stretch your legs. If you’re traveling by bus, train, or plane, try to get a seat near the aisle and regularly get up to walk.

If you’re experiencing any other discomfort or symptoms around the holidays, you might be stressed about how to make it all work. If possible, try to recreate a home away from home. Bring your pregnancy pillow for the hotel or family member’s house you’ll be staying at, pack your heartburn medications or remedies, take time to yourself and spend some time with just your partner to feel at home. Allow extra time for travel, and give yourself grace to move a little slower this holiday season.

Festivities

Once you’re celebrating the holiday festivities, you might face a couple of challenges. If you’re early in your pregnancy, you might be trying to go incognito over the holidays and keep your pregnancy to yourself. You might also be wondering how to navigate alcohol, pregnancy safe foods, aversions, and energy.

Food - Although many of us think of big turkey, roast dinners or seafood during the holidays, you might have a different tradition with your loved ones. If your holiday meals include things like seafood or fancy charcuterie boards, you may be conscious of how to handle this while pregnant. There are a few ways you can choose to deal with this.

• You could opt to show up early, giving you time to spend with your loved ones before the meal (this could be especially helpful if you’re having aversions to the food being served), and excusing yourself once it’s time to eat.

• You could also eat before you get there and just snack on some of the pregnancy safe sides or treats.

• Or, you could suggest mixing it up this year and serving something different to eat (something you can indulge in without worry!).

Alcohol - If anyone questions why you’re not having wine with dinner, first, it’s none of their business. But if you do want to give them an answer, you can simply say you’re not feeling it.

Energy – regardless of whether you’ve shared the news of your pregnancy yet or not, you might have less energy this season – emotionally and physically.  In order to make sure you’re mentally prepared for the festivities, try to ensure you’re getting enough sleep, eating nourishing food, getting out into nature, meditating, exercising, reading books, watching movies.  Whatever makes you feel refreshed and energized, amp it up!

Its also important that you set some boundaries and take on less, pass some of the cooking and preparation to someone else to give you time off your feet. Remember it’s entirely okay to dip out of the festivities early and get some rest.

Most importantly, you do not owe anyone an explanation for why you’re going about the holidays differently this year, and if you feel too much pressure surrounding these things, know that your health and well-being is most important. You do not have to engage in any celebrations that bring you more stress than enjoyment.  But if you do, I hope these tips help you support yourself.

It is ok to say no, and consider what you need this holiday season. Because this is your life, your pregnancy and your baby.  

And saying NO to others, is saying YES to your mental health, and your baby.  And there is nothing more important than that right now.

Wishing you a peaceful holiday season.

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