Is it safe to have sex when you’re pregnant?
When you’re pregnant after infertility or loss, it’s understandable that you’d be hesitant to have sex. Heck, we’re scared to tell our friends or family that we’re pregnant for fear of jinxing it, we’re scared to think negative thoughts in case it could cause a loss, and we’re terrified of eating anything that isn’t on the safe food list for pregnancy.
So, the thought of having sex can be absolutely terrifying. No, it’s not just you. This is something that is discussed regularly in our community inside Your Pregnancy Haven. And to be honest, I don’t think it’s spoken about enough. It makes complete sense that you’d be scared of having sex and that you wouldn’t feel like it anyway. Stress has a way of sucking the desire out of us, and when fear is layered on top of it, you can say goodbye to your libido – it’s smashed into a million pieces.
But, when we don’t feel like having sex and it’s the furthest thing from our minds, we worry. What about our partner? Their body isn’t on hyperalert or wracked with fear, and they still have normal desires. This can lead to us feeling guilty that we’re not being intimate with our partner – especially if we’ve been doing fertility treatments like IVF or IUI to get pregnant. The abstinence may run longer than this pregnancy.
So, before we dive into this deeper, let’s answer the main question you may have right now – Is it safe (from a physical standpoint) to have sex during pregnancy? In this blog, we will delve into this topic and provide insights to help you navigate sex while ensuring the health and well-being of both you and your baby.
Understanding the Changes:
Firstly, it’s important to note that during pregnancy, our body goes through significant hormonal, physical, and emotional changes. These changes, such as increased blood flow to the pelvic region, breast enlargement, and heightened sensitivity, can affect sexual desire and comfort levels. As mentioned previously, fear and stress will also have an impact on your libido, so there is no need to punish yourself for having zero interest in sex right now. Of course, this varies from person to person. It's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about how you’re feeling, so they don’t feel rejected.
Safety Considerations:
In the majority of uncomplicated pregnancies, sexual activity is considered safe. Your baby is well protected within the uterus and is not harmed by sexual intercourse. The amniotic sac, which surrounds the baby, acts as a cushion against external forces. Additionally, the cervix is tightly closed, providing a barrier to the uterus.
However, certain circumstances may require caution or avoidance of sexual activity. If you have experienced complications such as preterm labor, placenta previa, cervical incompetence, or a history of miscarriages, it is essential to consult your healthcare provider for guidance on whether sexual activity should be limited or avoided.
For some of us, that small risk can be enough to turn us off, and that’s ok.
Comfort and Positioning:
As your pregnancy progresses, you may feel a little more open to getting intimate but finding comfortable sexual positions may become a challenge. Experimenting with various positions and utilizing pillows or support can help alleviate discomfort and accommodate your growing belly. Side-lying positions, with your partner behind or facing each other, can often be more comfortable during the later stages of pregnancy. If you find some discomfort during sex or want to take an extra precaution, you can also try the Ohnut which is a stopper that can adjust the depth of penetration. Once again, communication and experimentation with your partner are key to finding what works best for both of you.
Benefits of Sexual Intimacy:
Now this is in no way pressuring you one way or the other, however engaging in sexual activity during pregnancy can have several benefits. Firstly, it can enhance emotional bonding between you and your partner, strengthen your relationship, and reduce stress levels. Sexual intimacy can also release endorphins, promoting a sense of well-being and relaxation. Furthermore, orgasmic contractions may help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can be beneficial during childbirth and postpartum recovery.
Common Concerns and Myths:
There are several myths and misconceptions surrounding sex during pregnancy that can create unnecessary worries. Let's address some of the most common concerns:
Harming the Baby: As mentioned earlier, sexual intercourse does not harm the baby. The uterus, amniotic sac, and cervix provide ample protection.
Inducing Labor: While orgasms can trigger mild contractions, they are generally harmless and not a cause for concern. However, if you have a high-risk pregnancy or your healthcare provider advises against sexual activity, it is essential to follow their guidance.
Penetration and Injury: The penis does not come into contact with the baby during sex. The baby is located much higher in the uterus, and the cervix remains closed throughout pregnancy.
So, is sex safe during pregnancy? The short answer is that yes, sexual activity during pregnancy is generally considered safe with uncomplicated pregnancies. However, it’s important that you discuss your case with your doctor beforehand.
Beware however - sex during pregnancy can cause spotting or bleeding. The reason for this is that pregnancy hormones (and your potential lack of libido) may result in less lubrication and can even cause the blood vessels to rupture more easily. That irritation may be enough to result in bleeding. While it may only last a day or two, if you’re already fearful of loss, this can push you down a spiral so fast you’ll be spinning for weeks. And for a lot of us, that can be a deal breaker. The risk and the increased stress levels aren’t worth the benefits.
If you do feel guilty for not wanting to have sex during your pregnancy, and as a result, feel pressure to be intimate regardless, it’s important to discuss this with your partner. Telling them how you’re feeling can help alleviate anxiety and allows them to understand that it isn’t personal. You can also discuss other ways that you can find intimacy and connection, without penetration.
But above all else, the most important thing to consider here is your mental health and the health and safety of your baby. Do what feels comfortable for you, both physically and mentally. And know that you’re not alone in feeling this way.
READY TO FIND PEACE IN YOUR PREGNANCY?
Start feeling the hope, excitement and joy you deserve in your pregnancy.
Receive INSTANT ACCESS to this essential guide with 5 easy tips that you can implement today.