Surviving the wait in between ultrasound appointments
When you’re navigating your way through pregnancy after infertility or loss, in my personal experience, and what I witness first-hand inside Your Pregnancy Haven, there are two things we struggle with the most……
Firstly………UNCERTAINTY. The constant questions of……..could this ALL be for nothing? Is my baby still growing? Will this pregnancy last? What was that bump or twinge?
When you’re talking about infertility and loss, and even more so – recurrent pregnancy loss or even full-term loss, there are very few things that are certain.
And secondly ………the WAITING.
On my 7-year fertility journey, those two things drove me crazy!
This was the first time in my life that I realized that I was not always in control of the outcome. That I could do ALL of the things people were telling me to do (and I was!), and still not hold a baby in my arms at the end. Which, as a self-confessed control freak, frustrated the heck out of me.
And when you’re finally pregnant – the two week wait turns into a 9 month wait.
I’m also not the most patient person. So this perpetual state of WAIT would drive me to insanity.
If you’re an impatient control freak like me, HOW do you deal with the uncertainty and waiting during your pregnancy, without it driving you crazy?
How do you deal with the wait in between ultrasound appointments?
The answer is…..by developing ROUTINES, and creating HEALTHY HABITS.
Why do those help?
Well, imagine you’re waiting yet again, and there is nothing you can do. Your doctor can’t give you a guarantee, and so you’re floating, feeling useless and out of control. Imagine you see a life raft in the distance. Something that you can pull yourself up on and start paddling. A routine is like a life raft. It gives you what you’re craving most.
It gives you purpose, distraction and the knowledge that you are actually DOING something.
And in those moments when you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster which is headed for the ground and you’re holding on for dear life, it stops you from plummeting toward the earth. It provides you a way to step off the rollercoaster, and move toward the Ferris wheel instead. Basically, it gives you a smoother ride.
It also helps to keep busy (but in a good way) and maintain healthy boundaries.
So here are some things I swear by - tips to help you get to the next ultrasound appointment without driving yourself nuts in the process.
Implement a morning routine – something you do each morning that sets aside some time for you to replenish your emotional cup. This is essential before you open up your phone in the morning and start strolling social media or answering work emails. If we’re running on empty, that’s when our monkey-mind kicks in, right? So, dedicate the first 30 minutes of your day to move your body (yoga / stretches / walk the dog), calm your mind (read a book / listen to some music or a podcast / meditate), and eat a healthy breakfast (if you can keep it down). You’ll feel SO much better, and your day will get off to a great start.
Start a night-time routine – sleep is absolutely necessary to ensure once again that your monkey mind doesn’t start getting excited and driving you insane. Make sure you go to bed before 10pm and for the last hour of your evening, do some things to signal to your brain that it’s almost bed-time. Switch off electronic devices, do your nightly skincare routine, have a cup of chamomile tea, do some journaling or gratitude, read a book, listen to a sleep story, and lull into a sleepy slumber.
Start a creative project – let’s get the right side of your brain working. Learn how to knit, play the guitar or piano, sort out your photos and create a photo-book from your last holiday, do some painting, drawing, or coloring. When you engage your creative side, your analytical left brain will be a little quieter.
Random acts of kindness – do one thing each day – a kind act for a loved one or a stranger, without any expectation of receiving anything in return. It could be buying the person behind you at Starbucks a coffee, messaging a loved one telling them how much you appreciate them, bringing in cupcakes for your team at work, smiling at a complete stranger, or complimenting someone. This is a great way to bring you into the present moment, and it also releases a whole heap of good endorphins. So, it’s basically like doing exercise, without the sweat.
Declutter / nesting – our environment affects the way we feel internally, so if you have a lot of clutter around, you’re more likely to feel overwhelmed. Select some things to declutter and do something each day – clean out your purse or handbag, your car, your closet, your kitchen pantry, your phone – delete the unused Apps or photos, your workspace, your bedroom. Buy some plants, an oil diffuser and make sure there’s lots of natural light and fresh air around you.
Buy a few good books, or get engrossed in a new Netflix series and binge watch it.
Cooking – if you like to bake or cook, try out some new recipes. You could even bake cookies and deliver them to your neighbors and tick off number 4 at the same time.
Time can stand still (or even feel like it’s going backward), so organize a weekend away so you have something else to look forward to. This will help break up the time in between scans, and change your focus a little.
Dancing and music – this is a great way to move the stagnant energy out of your body. Music has such healing properties and can change your mood. It’s also a great distraction and mood booster.
Download the Calm App – it has some great meditations and sleep stories to help calm you down.
Get outside as much as possible. Fresh air, sunshine and nature are instant ways to reduce your anxiety. Put your bare feet on the ground and gain from all mother nature has to offer.
Stay away from google. It doesn’t have the answer and will just make you feel more uncertain.
Limit your use of social media if it’s a trigger for you – notice your emotional energy after you’ve been scrolling on there. Do you feel lighter, or do you feel more uncertain? Do you feel happy, or are you disheartened?
Stay away from people who make you question your sanity and who trigger you. Now is not the time to test yourself. You need to save your emotional strength right now and not waste it on people who don’t make you feel good.
But the biggest tip I have for you is to…….
JOIN US INSIDE YOUR PREGNANCY HAVEN.
Our chat group is filled with reassurance, tips on how to distract yourself, and so much encouragement and love. The thing that drives us nuts on this journey, is when other people don’t understand. And these ladies do. THIS will get you through the long weeks of uncertainty.
There are lots of laughs and support.
And THAT is what makes the wait bearable.
You can join us today by clicking HERE.
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