When your mind keeps wandering to the worst case scenario…..
Do you ever have those moments, when things are going really well in your life, and all of a sudden, your mind starts wandering to the dark side? For example, you’re watching an old lady cross the street, and next thing you find yourself imagining her falling over and filling in the blanks with what would unfold after that? Just me?! :0
It happens even more so during pregnancy after loss. Our mind is constantly wandering to the worst-case scenario, because for some of us, it’s what we have actually experienced. No, it’s not just you. We all have what I refer to as “Mental Movies” running on auto-pilot.
Unfortunately, our body can’t tell the difference between what is real or imagined. Which means that when you’re in the middle of this film, your body thinks it is actually happening. So you’ll experience the physical stress, just as if it was happening in real life.
The more exhausted we are, the more our mind wanders. Because when we’re tired, we have less control over our thoughts. That’s why these mental movies tend to happen more at night-time.
So, what can we do about these mental movies?
Firstly, there is no need to punish yourself for having them. No, you are not going crazy, or losing your mind. We all do it (we just don’t talk about it). And just because you imagine it, doesn’t not mean it’s a premonition of things to come. Nor does it mean you will manifest it. Manifesting is a little more complicated than that (otherwise I’d be living in a mansion overlooking the ocean by now).
We can get so caught up in running these mental movies, that we forget that we’re the director. We’re the ones that are in control of yelling CUT! Or walking out of the theatre. So, when the movie starts playing, and you’re aware of it, don’t indulge the dark side. Do something to change the thought pattern. I do this when I’m having an intrusive thought – and the same applies for mental movies. When an intrusive thought comes up, I imagine hitting it with a baseball bat and seeing it fly through the air. You can do the same here. When you start playing that movie, you can imagine yourself yelling CUT, or hit it out of the park.
There is also a way you can change the genre of the film you’re playing. Instead of the horror film or drama that we play, you can switch to a romantic comedy. And the way we do that is by exercising that muscle. Unfortunately, our brains are usually wired to the horror film genre. Of the 50,000 odd thoughts we experience each day (yes, that’s why you’re so mentally exhausted), 70-80% of them are negative. So, we have to actively change the channel.
Here’s how it works. If your mind is constantly playing a horror film of what your next ultrasound appointment is going to look like – with the doctor coming in and giving you bad news, and then you having to go back and tell everyone, and go through it all again, let’s create a new scene. And no, it does not have to be based on your current reality, or even be believable. Remember – this is a movie that you are writing, you are the director, so you can create anything you want. Try this exercise……
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine waking up on the morning of your ultrasound appointment. The sun is slowly rising over the ocean and peaking through the silk curtains of your beachside apartment. You can hear the waves crashing, and feel the sea breeze gently blowing through the windows. You stretch out in your big soft bed, with fluffy pillows and luxurious silk sheets. Wandering through to the kitchen, the smell of freshly made coffee and bacon is wafting through the air. You grab a plate and go have breakfast on the balcony, overlooking the ocean. Then you stroll down for a walk on the beach. After that, you head for a pregnancy massage, and then to your ultrasound appointment. You receive a warm welcome when you arrive, and get immediately ushered into the room, where the technician quickly puts the image of your beautiful baby on the screen. You get to hear the heartbeat and see your baby’s cute button nose. They give you pictures on your way out of the clinic, and you and your partner head out to lunch to celebrate another milestone gone……..
You can create your own story, but you get my drift, right? If we are capable of creating a horror film, we also have the power to create the opposite. It doesn’t have to be believable, because remember, we’re just creating a movie. You’re not creating your reality, you’re just choosing to walk out of the theatre or change the channel.
Another thing you can do to help change the tone of the films you’re playing in your head, is to watch what you’re consuming. Do a bit of a detox and declutter.
If you’re constantly on google and are being drawn down that rabbit hole, and becoming more anxious as a result, it’s time to stop. You can read THIS BLOG for some tips on how.
If you’re reading books or watching films that are fearful or dramatic, change the tone up a little. Or if you’re hanging around with people who are constantly dragging you down and filling you with worry, maybe it’s time to rethink the company you keep (even if it’s just for now).
Even though our mind is pre-disposed to search out the negative, there are so many things we can do to change the type of movie we’re playing. By filling your mind with the good stuff, it will make changing the channel so much easier.
And as they say in show biz.….ACTION!!
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